Interracial Relationships: An Equal Opportunity Lover
Some people complain that they cannot seem to find a compatible mate within their own race. My solution to this problem is, to date or marry someone outside of your race. However, this may be a serious problem if one is locked into racial bondage. Being locked into racial bondage, does not mean that, if a person is white and he or she only prefers to date or marry a white person. Or if a person is Asian, Hispanic or African American, and that individual prefers to only date or marry someone within his or her own group. Racial bondage, is when one desires to be romantically involved, with a person of another race, but, does not do so, because of the fear of facing rejection, retaliation, or being ostracized, by his or her own group. Even in our present day and time, many interracial couples have claimed, that they have faced some hostility from others. Nevertheless, one will have more options to choose from, if he or she is a heterosexual equal opportunity lover. This is especially true for African American women, since many of them are more educated than black men, because believe it or not, education does make a difference. If an individual has a Ph.D, he or she more than likely, probably would not have a meaningful relationship, with a maid or auto mechanic, no more than a Christian would have a meaningful relationship with a Muslim. The different educational and religious background, could cause a great deal of problems in the relationship. Quite naturally, some would argue that the same thing could be said, about individuals who date or marry outside of their racial group. However, an individual who has decided to cross the color line, must be prepared for a great deal of adversity, because even though, we are in 2011, there is still a large proportion of the U.S. population, who despise the idea of interracial relationships, and, many of these individuals have gone so far as, to try and use the bible to justify their prejudice and racist attitudes. There are six major reasons why people inter-racially date or marry. First, is the Affirmative Action Theory. For those who adhere to the this theory, race is hardly ever a major attribute, when choosing a mate. Most individuals who I have met, that believe in this perspective, were brought up in military environments, whereby, they were constantly exposed to interracial life. In fact, many of these military kids grew up in environments, in which several of their friends were bi-racial of some sort. I can personally testify to this, as a former Air Force brat, being raised in Europe and different parts of the United States. Second, individuals who cross the color line to seek a mate, do so, because of the Experimentation Theory. Those who use this theory, want to see what it is like, to date someone of a different racial or cultural background. They are both curious and excited about learning a new culture, because it is something that fascinates them about that particular group or culture. Third, is the Stereotype Theory. Individuals, who adhere to this theory, are those who want to explore the myths and misconceptions, concerning a particular racial group. They want to see what is really fact and what is fiction. They want to see what is true and what is false. Fourth, is the Anger Theory. The Anger Theory, is when a person date’s or marries someone, outside his or her race, just to get back at their parents or some other love-one. I dated a few non-black women who did this. It was only later, that I found out the true reason, why they really dated me, even though the relationships turned out to be very meaningful. Fifth, there are those who cross the color-line, due to the Theory of Negativity. People who fall within this category, have constantly experienced bad behavior, while dating or marrying, those of their own race, and, therefore seek affection, from those of a different culture or racial background. Sixth, and, finally, individuals cross the color-line to date or marry because of the Love Theory. When two-people love each other, their skin color becomes an adjective just to describe them. For an example, if one lady has brown hair and another lady has black hair, we wouldn’t say that the lady with brown hair, is better than the lady with black hair. It is just an adjective to describe one of their attributes. This is how it is when inter-racial couples, truly fall in love. By no means, am I saying that the above six reasons that I have given , are conclusive, because they are not. However, they are food for thought. Whether, one inter-racially dates or marry, for the Affirmative Action Theory, the Experimentation Theory, the Stereotype Theory, the Anger Theory, or the Theory of Negativity, they could all end up at the doorsteps of the Theory of Love, no joke!
The Bowtie Professor Speaks!
Tags: Prejudice Attitudes
This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 11th, 2011 at 5:53 am and is filed under Politics And Race Relations, Politics: Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
I completely agree Lisa Galvin…I was always told growing up not to date outside of my race and my parents were quite adimate about the subject. Yet the older I got I would flock toward everything but my race. I am Black. Throughout the past 2-7years I’ve had relationships with a Asian man, White man, Hawaiin man,and Native American. The world is full of color, why alienate a race from your dating list, just because of something you see or hear from another, it makes not only them look ignorant but you as well…I date whatever my heart desires… I mean didnt Martin Luther King Jr. say that he one day hope that we would see pass the color of our skin, but be judged by the content of our character…Well thats what I live by when it comes to relationships!
Dating outside my race is something I have never done. I do not see anything wrong with it personally. I believe the only reason i have not dated outside of my race is because of fear. The fear of what people think, the fear of my children growing up to mean people that do not understand that him/her parents were in Love. When you truly love someone the color of their skin doesn’t matter.
I belive that if you love someoone the color or nationality should not matter. It will be hard to be with someone when the people around you don’t share the same beliefs. I know of some that she was question by authority why she was married to somoone from another country and she responded that she had to look outside her race because the men from he country were not men enough to take care of her. Her husband is good provider, loves her and treats her like a queen. Sheonce told me that it was not easy at the beginning but they work their differences and now they love each other. I have several nieces that are married to guys from Egypt, Korea and Nigeria, and they all have a wonderful relationship with their in-laws and their families. So, I think that love does conquer everything, it helps you fight all the battles that come along your way. It also teaches other that if you really have feelings for someone is alright to get close to that person and let them know how you feel. Besides, it wonderful to have different cultures to learn from, you have how special are the festivities in my family. We have so many ways of celebration, we learn each year more and more about other people and culture.
I don’t see anything wrong with Interracial dating, but for me personally I have chosen not to date outside of my race. It is true that love has no color. I think people should be entitled to be with who ever they choose. I do feel like their will always be some type of issue for that couple who is married to or just dating some one of a different race. Every culture is different. Times have changed so I don’t think it is as hard as it use to be for an interracial relationship. MW 7:05p.m.
There is nothing wrong with interracial relationships. I have known many people who have had long lasting relationships despite the color of their skin. I also know people who may choose to make a big deal out of it but it should honestly be none of their business. If you love somebody then it should not depend on whether their skin is black or white or brown. In some cases, couples may find other reasons besides race not to be together so people shouldn’t worry about it. If you love somebody and their not your same race just let it be, be happy. MW 7:05 p.m.
Interracial dating is definitely not a thing of the past, but i can say many us sometimes don’t truly agree with this. I have never dated no one outside of my race, but I do not oppose interracial dating. If someone dates outside of their race they should be ready to face issue that maybe in a same race relationship would not be so controversial. That is why maybe people tend to date their own race because they are sacred of facing issues that they would not have when they date their same race; but reagardless any relationship faces issues so it could not be a big deal. Everyone needs to be open minded when they know that they can find what they need in other races; and its nothing out of this world to date out of your race. MW 7:05
I personally have never dated outside of my own race, but that does not mean that I do no agree with it. I personally believe that the color of one’s skin should never matter in the aspect of a relationship. When entering into an inter-racial relationship, one must always be ready for battle. There are some people out there who strongly believe it is wrong and unacceptable. So the couple should be ready, and if their love for one another can last through all the drama that comes along with it, they have found the one. I believe if you love someone with everything you have and would do anything for them, its worth fighting for, and it shouldnt matter what color they are, just as long as they love you back just the same.
If you truly love someone, then I don’t think race or anything really matters. God has a plan for us! He knows we are all equal, and probably doesn’t understand why some people are they way they are. There is nothing wrong with Interracial dating. God knows who we are going to be with. He knows who is going to make us truly happy one day, so why do some people have to make such a big deal about it. As long as they are truly in love, and they believe God has brought them together than I believe its okay. I couldn’t imagine not being able to date my boyfriend if he were a different race. Love will find a way, and if a interracial couple is meant to be, or any couple for that matter, they will be. You can’t stop Gods plans. The people who make a big deal about it just need to keep to themselves. The future is happing, and interracial dating is and will continue to go on. We should embrace couples like this. It is an opportunity to learn about one another cultures. As well as making new ones.
I do not see anything wrong with dating outside your race. I believe that when it comes to love there is no color. For me personally, I have dated outside of my race. Shortly, after I found that I rather date my own race. I am black a prefer a strong black male. Someone similar to my father and my uncles. Some of my friends feel that all the good black males are gone. For myself I feel that there are some still out there.
I personally have not dated outside my race but its not because I have any fear but because I hav not found anyone compatable to me outside my race. Honestly when I’m choosing a guy to date race never come to mind because I take the person’s character into consideration and once that is establish everything else does not matter. If we can see past what the eyes perceive I do believe our decision making will be more intellectual. I have friends that are outside my race and it’s never been an issue because even people from our own race are not always like us. Everybody have their own unique identity and personality so when it comes down to it, its not the skin color that matters but rather the personality behind it,
So I will be as honest as possible about this because Im and honest person.Though I feel that if you find someone that makes you happy go for it no matter what color they are I do sometimes get a little jealous I guess when I see a black man with another race especially because Ive only dated inside my race which is black. I really couldnt tell you why this feeling comes over me when I see a black male with another race its a feeling that my african american friends and family get we talk about it all the time . Some say because other female races are getting the black men that are doing something with themselves others say its because the other female races are doing a little something extra that the black female wont do if you know what I mean and last but not least the one that im tired of hearing that the black female just nags and argues way to much ,but in my oppinion im torn as to what I believe and why I get these fellings.
To me, the color of your skin dont make you. I look at your personalilty and what you trying to do with your life and are you that person I want to be with. I think people should stop limiting theirselves to one race, when they might have a better opportunity with someone of another race. I like those reasons you listed because there are people who do those things when it comes to dating outside their race.
I have always find that I tend to date outside my race mainly because growing up my parents always told me that there is only one race the human race and that love is blind. Love has not color and for those who think it does are just plain wrong. I was born In Guyana South America a country know for its many races so I was always exposed to different cultures.
I have always been exposed to people of all walks of life my family is as mixed as they come. My parents raised me to think of everyone as one race the human race. Love is blind in my eyes. When I see a man that is exactly what I see a man not the race or his back ground. I was born in Guyana a country know for its many races so all my life I have been around different cultures. But what I often find is that i tend to be approached more by other races than my own (I am black by the way) but I am what most people of my own race consider too dark. I have dated a few black men but the always date me just so they can say the have dated “a dark skin girl” whatever that suppose to mean. So i date outside my race and I seem to get along with them much better. Everyone loves the same no matter what your race. 7:05 Tuesday