Single-ness
There are a few people who very seldom get lonely. They are individuals whose lives are full of activities. Such people, are those who possess the gift of single-ness. The gift of single-ness, does not mean that a person does not need anyone. It does mean, however, that such individuals do not need anyone to make them feel complete. People who have the gift of single-ness already feel complete. Therefore, if such individuals were to get married, the marriage itself would only complement them, but, not make then feel complete, because as I stated earlier, those who possess the gift of single-ness, feel complete already. The gift of single-ness seems strange to those who do not have it. People who do not have the gift of single-ness, cannot stand to be alone. Therefore, they go from relationship to relationship, trying to find their identity through another person. Those who are blessed with the gift of single-ness, can go to the movies with someone, or they could go by themselves. Those who have the gift of single-ness, can spend the holidays with their family and friends, or they can spend the holidays by themselves, and still have a great deal of joy. People who have the gift of single-ness, do not spend all of their time trying to find a mate. To them, if they get married, that’s fine, and, if they do not get married, that is fine too. Unfortunately, in America’s society, so many people are not even aware of the gift of single-ness, and this is why married couples and others, especially those who are in the church, are always trying to get single people married off. What they fell to realize, is that some folks are not meant to be married, however, if single people are meant to be married, then, let them get married on their own time. This is a very hard thing to gasp, for individuals who always have to be in the mist of others. People who constantly have to be in the company of others, for some reason or another, assume that a single person’s life is one of loneliness and misery. What they do not understand, is that a person can be single and satisfied, because there is a difference between loneliness and being alone. When one is lonely, there is an empty void in the person’s life. Something is missing in that person’s life. Whereas, when one is alone, that person’s life is full of activities, he or she just chooses to do them solo. Therefore, if you happen to be reading this, and, have been blessed, with the gift of single-ness, do not let others pressure you into doing anything that you do not want to do, such as getting married prematurely, or making accusations against you, such as you are gay or some type of weirdo. When I was a young man, I use to wonder, why I never felt lonely, and, I thought something was wrong with me. Many people would tell me, the reason I did not want to be married was because, I was either a whore, or that I was probably gay. Then, I began to reminisce back to my childhood, and, I remembered how my father and mother gave me a room to myself in Munich, Germany, even though, I had two brothers and two sisters. I then realized, that I possessed the gift of single-ness, even as a child, this gift has always been with me. Let me say again, that the gift of single-ness, does not mean that one does not need anybody. It just means that an individual does not have to have someone to make him or her feel complete. People who have the gift of single-ness, eventually do get married and have great lives. Why? They come into the marriage with the attitude, that the person, in which they hope to marry, is just a person, and not a god. Meaning, they do not place heavy burdens on their mates, that only God can take off. They realize that no human being can be their all and all, only God can. So, don’t let others make you feel guilty, if you happen to have the gift of single-ness.
The Bowtie Professor Speaks!
Tags: Logical Thinking
This entry was posted on Monday, August 31st, 2009 at 3:33 pm and is filed under The Family, Topics Of Controversy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
The gift of single-ness, this is very revealing. Single-ness is finding fulfilment in ones own life before considering the ablity of others.This is a good virtue that every one should have because, it enchances self development and avoids identity crisis in ones life. I love the saying that says single-ness does not neccessary mean loneliness,because there are alot of activities that can keep the single person busy. Again people who decide to be single always have a high level of self esteem/ego, because they usually believe in themselves; and these set of people always succeed in what ever thing they do in life, especially if they later decide to get married; because their high morals and valves will prevent them from placing too much burdens on their spouse.
I totally AGREE with you. Many people tend to judge a book by its cover. And that’s what I hate about people actually. Because they misjudge you by the way you do things in life. No one listens to what an individual has to say for him or herself. They just listen to rumors. I think being single is a very good thing because it would give you more time to see what you plan to do in LIFE. Nowadays, kids or anyone tend to date at such a young age and have many different relationships. They date for one week and then break up and then onto the next relationship. I always think to myself why any one would want to date so many many people because in the end aren’t you going to stick with one person? In my personal opinion, staying single doesn’t mean that it is a bad thing or you can’t find a guy or whatever reasons. It would just mean that you want to find the RIGHT person that is your FIRST and LAST choice throughout your life. Or it could mean that you would just want to explore things rather than just get married. But forcing a person to get married or date is nothing in our consideration. Like I mentioned before, let others live their own life just like they would desire, PEOPLE does not need to interfere in other’s life. To make it simple, Don’t worry about other people’s business, just worry about your own!
Wow! Professor I am speechless, I have read this article three times and have to agree with you. For example, I have a friend that is in his forties and is always saying “God did not make a women of his type for him”. Then he tells us that he is happy living and doing things by himself. He too has been joked about him being gay or a weirdo. Yea it is everyparents dream to see there son/daughter get married and form a family. That it self is a lot of pressure. My friend once told me that his friends would not include him on some weekend activites because he was single and when they would invite him they would ask him if he “felt out of places because they were all there with their girlfriends”. He said he would have just as much fun with or without a girlfriend. I never looked at singleness as a gift but it is. Thanks for your opinion on singleness this will help some men or women.
Everything you just mentioned is so true. Single-ness is something special that should not be frowned upon. I have an aunt who is forty-five and refuses to get married too. She had many chances when she was younger and chose not to. She never had any kids either because since she had her nieces and nephews, she treats us as her own. I think staying single is smart because it gives you more time to find that one perfect person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Or if you don’t want to find it then that’s fine too. Not everybody’s meant to be married and honestly a lot of people now are getting divorced just as quickly as they got married. Single-ness is a gift and whoever embraces it will have a plentiful life, if they do not already do so. MW 7:05 p.m.
I really like this post by Mr. Bowtie Professor. I am divorced now for 9 years and have struggled greatly with the loneliness and being alone factor for a few years. However, I can honestly say that all that has changed for me. I am now busier than ever and genuinely happier as well. I never thought that this “place” was possible, but I’m here to say that it is!
What I’ve found is that God does work this all out. He did for me. I can go to the movies by myself, or go out to eat by myself. I started back to school for my bachelor’s degree. This keeps me really busy. I socialize with the singles group at church which adds activities. My life is very full and enjoyable. I am even considering a mission trip to Alaska this summer. Yet this time last year, I never thought that I could think this way.
Now if I meet Mr. Right, he will just add to my abundant life. I can honesly say that I am blessed with single-ness at this time!
I agree with what you said about people looking down at people who are single and thinking that there always lonely and miserable. But the truth about that is that it is not true and people with the gift of single-ness always seem to be happy and full of joy because they don’t have to impress no one but themselves. I know these because I myself am like this and I don’t need the company of another to have fun but I don’t mind it either. I have plenty of friends but like you said professor I’m not lonely because I don’t lack something I just choose to be alone sometimes. The gift of single-ness is a great one because not everyone can have it and therefore people should not be discouraged by others or rushed to do things by others.